Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A day with water crystals
today when i got to school a girl in room 12 was giving out yellow water crystals to people and it was kind of a distraction for people even me because they were always making sure that their water crystals have grown or were stolen, but i was so glad that our water cystals were not banned by Mr Roberts and if they were i would be annoyed
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3 comments:
Hi Ariana
We liked reading about your yellow water crystal story and we like playing with them too. You had lots of information in your story.
To help you improve your story we think you need to use capital letters at the beginning of a sentence and fullstops at the end of the sentence.
Sincerely
Bailey A, Bailey L, Bronwyn and Alayna ( Manchester Street School Room I)
Hello Ariana!!!
I like water crystals too and had some when I was little. Your story was really odd but it had good imformation in it.
To improve your story you need to add full stops at the end of your sentences and capital letters at the start of a sentec and when you write "I".
From Gabriella!!!
Hello Ariana!!!
I like water crystals too and had some when I was little. Your story was really odd but it had good imformation in it.
To improve your story you need to add full stops at the end of your sentences and capital letters at the start of a sentec and when you write "I".
From Gabriella!!!
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